Sex, Chocolate, and Other Things Geeky

 Posting via my blog, because posting this direct on FB doesn't feel right. Blogger isn't being easy on me to hide the text I wanted to hide, so this intro piece will have to serve as a CN/TW for talk of end of life issues. (No shame in that. The world in general is extra hard right now, and we need to take care of ourselves.) Talked to the hospice nurse yesterday evening. She told me that mom is imminent, and when asked if I should come down immediately, she said yes. We packed up and headed out last night, after having dinner. Got to the hotel a little after 1am, checked in, set up the room, and crashed out. Got up this morning, got ready, had food, and then headed to the care home mom’s at. She…she’s not long for this world. She looks exactly like I expected her to look, given what I was told over the last few weeks and yesterday. She’s lost weight, is on oxygen, and is teetering on the edge of being more than gaunt. I sat with her for a bit, and talked to her, telling her...

There's a certain threshold of awareness that once you pass it, you can't stop your brain. I am so there. Things I loved from childhood look different, and rarely in a good way.  Watching the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade and they had a number from the upcoming live performance of The Sound of Music, specifically "You are sixteen going on seventeen" and the lyrics have never been my favorite, but I used to be able to enjoy the music itself.  I can't do that anymore. Follow that up with a commercial for the upcoming Saving Mr. Banks, which is going to be the story of how Walt Disney convinced the woman who wrote Mary Poppins to let him turn it into a movie.  Let's look at the title of the movie again, shall we?  Saving Mr. Banks.  As in, the father in the story.  Not Saving Ms. Poppins, the title character.  Even with the fact that the story is mostly about reminding him what it means to be a loving person, it just feels wrong. Disney has a new ani...

The end of a series.  Wow.  Not many of the series I read come to a definite end.  Kelley Armstrong has pulled off a great finish to a fantastic series.  Savanna has grown a lot over the course of the series, not just physically but also mentally and emotionally.  This book, like the last, mostly focuses on her. My least favorite thing about this book?  That it's the last full length novel for the Otherworld for the foreseeable future.  My favorite thing?  Savannah and Adam finally get together!  That's the only spoiler I'm going to give you, cause I don't want to ruin things. There a number of loose threads that could use some tying up, and I hope there are some short stories that will take care of them, but coming to the end of Thirteen I was able to have a moment of contentment that all had ended well.  It's always nice to close a book with that happy little sigh.

Waking the Witch saw Savannah heading out on her own as a detective for the first time.  She became emotionally attached to one of the people she met during the case she was working, a little girl named Kayla. The last thing Savannah does in the book is think that she'd happily give up her powers to help Kayla, crashing asleep and waking up to find that her powers were indeed gone. Spell Bound picks up with the thoughts of one watching Savannah.  Someone who can do just what she "wished" in that moment.  All we get to know about him is that he has some agenda and Savannah is at the heart of it. As much as Savannah grew in the last book, I'd say this is her real coming of age story.  She has always been the most powerful witch on the block, and she knew that all too well.  Her contempt for humans and for other witches less powerful than her was always in her thoughts.  She never tried to learn how to do things the normal way, because she knew she had her...

I've been trying to figure out for a while how to motivate myself into exercising more.  I think I might have it figured out. My goal is to engage in physical activity at least 3 times a week.  This can be an exercise video, a Kinect game, my physical therapy, a one mile bike ride or walk, as long as I move for 15 minutes or more, etc.  At the end of the week, if I meet my goal, I will transfer $2 to my savings account.  This money can be used for whatever I want it for: books, clothes, jewelry, whatever and it will be guilt free (or that's the plan at least).  If I don't make my goal, then all the money I've transferred to that point goes back into my checking account and I start all over again.  If I should manage to exercise more than my goal of 3 times per week, I can add $.50 for each time. So far this week, I walked a mile to my work and earlier today I did my physical therapy.  I'm not sure if my walk to and from the store 2 blocks away coun...

I've been reading this blog called Mark Reads , specifically his chapter by chapter reviews of one of my all time favorite series, which just happen to be the books that started me reading fantasy in the first place, The Song of the Lioness Quartet by Tamora Pierce.  Her books are amazing coming of age stories and often focus on strong, female characters (right up my alley!).  In the second book of the series, Pierce includes a sexual relationship between the main character and a friend of hers.  It's important to remember that these are young adult fiction, published in the 80s, and she's got a female character having sex with someone without being in a relationship with them.  Completely awesome, right?  I read these books for the first time somewhere between 1992-1994 and have reread them more times than I can count since then.  The blog review I'm reading about book two phrased it like this: "To have this sexual relationship presented so plainly and wi...

I just posted this on Facebook and thought I'd share it here, too.  "I have no indignation left.  No surprise.  It's all been drained from me as the blows keep coming.  There is no violation of another person's body that is ok!  If there is no consent, then it is rape.  And I'm not talking about rape play or other consensual non-consent kinks.  Those are a completely different animal.  I'm talking about date rape, stranger rape, she's-my-wife-and-therefore-owes-me-sex-when-I-want-it rape.  I'm talking about removing someone's sense of self so you can have power over them, rape.  None of these are ever ok. The so called Christian leaders who espouse these vile positions are performing a different kind of rape: the rape of our rights.  They are violating every single person in this country, be they female, male, genderqueer, trans, or cis.  They are violating our individual choices and they are ignoring our boundaries.  It...

Today is National Coming Out Day.  I support all of those folks who have come out and all of those folks who haven't, for whatever reason.  Coming out as bi, gay, poly, trans, or anything else isn't easy.  Our society doesn't make it easy.  Being different is opening the door to being vilified and abused.  But we can change all that and that's why there's a National Coming Out Day.  It's easier to be different if you know you're not the only one.  Ironic, isn't it? I try to be open and honest about who I am, but I still let that fear of being bullied and misunderstood control me.  Every year for the last 8 or more I've watched from the sidelines of Coming Out Day.  I've watched, but I haven't participated.  I've rationalized it because my close friends and family already know all my secrets, so why would I need to come out to anyone else?  But if I don't, how can I really think of myself as being truly open and honest about who I ...

Pegging (for those unfamiliar with the word) is the term used for a female bodied person penetrating a male bodied person anally using a strap-on dildo. Tristan Taormino's Expert's Guide to Pegging was her Valentine's gift to the world this year, and I just love how she introduces the topic, and how she talks about the fears people may have about pegging.  The anatomy lesson is great and full of info that is useful for both beginners and more experienced players.  I love how much Tristan loves her topic.  It’s one of the things that makes her videos so much fun to watch.  The first things she goes over are some of the basics like hygiene and lube, with really good information about both these topics starting the ball rolling. Tristan gives lots of detail on the types and stages of warm-up are great for anal play, taking us from oral stimulation through using more and more fingers, up through different types of toys that will help get the butt ready for pegg...

The Women of the Otherworld series covers a lot of ground in just a few books and bringing Eve into the picture shows just how much it covers.  Eve is the self appointed black sheep of the witch race, and she never learned to look before she leaps.  Her impetuousness, cliche though it may be, is her greatest strength and her greatest weakness.  She's a great spellcaster, a half-demon, a former track star and a decent martial artist, but if she didn't make snap decisions without all the facts, she wouldn't be where she is at the start of the book, or at any other point in it, to be truthful. Haunted takes place mostly in the afterlife and deals as much with the pain of being able to see those left behind as it does with catching the bad guy.  Pretty much everyone who has ever lost someone has wondered if their loved one was there watching them, hoping they were and afraid to hope at the same time.  Now we get to see the other side of the coin. ...

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.  - Frank Herbert, Dune When I think of fear and overcoming it, this is what I think of.  The Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear.  And that's because it's absolutely true.  Fear will kill you quicker than anything else.  You will still be walking around, but you will be dead inside.  If you let fear take you over then you just haven't lain down yet, but you are dead where it truly counts. I spend more time than I want to admit living in fear.  I fear disappointing those around me.  I fear taking the wrong step so much that some days I don't take any at all and that is never the right choice.  I even fear succeeding at the things I wa...

For me, Dime Store Magic is where this series finds its feet and then Industrial Magic lives up to the expectations set up previously.  Paige is finally growing up and becoming an actual person, instead of living the life others expect of her.  The evolution of the characters is almost tangible.  This is not to say that there aren't still some moments of wanting to shout at the book because the character "on screen" is about to make a huge mistake and they don't recognize it, but that happens with pretty much every book, movie, and tv show out there. The pacing of this book was really good.  One scene leads into the next with the kind of flow that makes you realize it's suddenly 3am and you have work in the morning.  I also really liked how characters from previous books were reintroduced and a few completely new characters that had only been talked about but never actually seen got some time on stage.  In the first two books of the series, things were fo...

Kelley Armstrong's second Women of the Otherworld book finds Elena in the clutches of a crazy billionaire and a team of scientists trying to understand what makes her tick.  It also introduces her to the wider world of supernaturals she never knew existed. I just don't get how a werewolf could be skeptical of the existence of vampires or witches.  It baffles me every time I read this book, and it's the fact that the character herself comments on her incredulity saves that part of the book for me.  For me this book is more about what makes a monster than anything else.  Is it turning furry on occasion and having a huge appetite?  Or maybe needing to drink the blood of others.  What about if your father was a demon?  Would that make you a monster?  Or is it the fact that you place your own entertainment above the lives of others?  That you will hunt thinking beings and shoot them in cold blood?  That sounds a lot more monstrous to me t...

Here's are the pics of the Kelley Armstrong books I currently own. I've got a ways to go... ;-)

I'm a huge fan of urban fantasy.  Were-creatures, vampires, magic users and gods and demons showing up and mingling in our everyday world?  What's not to love?  I can't pinpoint where my love of urban fantasy started, but I know who has fostered it: Laurell K Hamilton, Simon R Green and Mercedes Lackey are just a few that spring to mind.  Kelley Armstrong is another author who has built an amazing world using ours as her foundation. The first book in her Women of the Otherworld series is Bitten and she's finishing off her series with the aptly titles Thirteen, the thirteenth book in the series.  In celebration of this I've decided to be a part of a reading challenge to read one book from the series per month, until I'm done.  Here's a link to the challenge for those who are curious: Otherworld Reading Challenge I love rereading books.  Especially when it's been long enough that I can't remember everything that happens in them.  Makes things al...

My whole life I've had amazingly sensitive skin.  Sometimes this is a blessing, because each touch can feel like something so much more.  Sometimes this is a curse, because I can't wear polyester or rough woven cloth of any kind.  Wool is not my friend.  My skin gets irritated very easily and I scar like there's no tomorrow.  I also have to be careful about the soaps I use and the lotions I choose.  Between my skin sensitivity and my allergies, I can be in very dire straits if I'm not careful.  When I was very young I learned to not use regular soap because of the bizarre ring that formed on my cheek after washing my face. I started a new job almost two weeks ago and discovered after the first two shifts that the shirts were abrading my torso.  So I started wearing a tank under my work shirt and my torso didn't get any worse.  It took some getting used to, since I don't layer at all well.  I'm the girl who wears a winter jacket with a ...

There are a lot of things that we never really talk about openly.  Most women I know have been taught from a young age that they will have a yearly exam that includes checking their breast and vaginal health, but we don't really talk about it openly.  It's an important part of our general health, but gods forbid we talk openly about something that keeps us in the know about the likelihood of having cervical cancer, which can be a silent killer.  Breast cancer is a huge concern and yet, many of us don't do monthly exams at home which means that unless we get lucky, the yearly exam from our OB/GYN or the clinician at Planned Parenthood might be the best chance to catch the tell-tale lump early enough to do some good.  In the interest of opening things up and bringing important issues into the light, I'm going to share about my annual exam that I had just this week. I go to Planned Parenthood for my sexual health needs, and have since I was in high school.  It's ...

Wow.  I've been sorely lacking in keeping up this blog.  Well, I'll try to change that in the future.  I assure you all that I'm still alive and kicking!

Here's something that's all over our politics today: Planned Parenthood is evil.  It encourages teens to have sex and makes it impossible for them to be good, God-fearing people.  This shit just plain pisses me off.  Planned Parenthood isn't evil, it isn't encouraging kids to have sex.  Planned Parenthood has one main mission, encompassed by the name of the organization itself: PLANNED Parenthood. This is an organization dedicated to making sure every child is wanted.  This is an organization that wants to make sure that people who are sexually active, at whatever age, have access to the sexual health care they need.  Sometimes this means they administer abortions to people who have come to the decision that it is right for them.  Planned Parenthood tries to be there for people long before things get to that point.  They don't want to do abortions.  They want every pregnancy to be planned, for every child to have parents who love them and...

This has been working for me.  In February I decided to try something new for my period, Softcups !  It's a disposable cup that you use for 12ish hours, depending on your flow, instead of a tampon or pad.  I gotta tell you that I love them. You've got to be fairly comfortable with your body to use these and they're not going to work for everyone, but they work wonderfully for me!  I don't have to worry about my tampon failing me all of a sudden or deal with pads at night when I'm sleeping.  Just swap out the Softcup every 12 hrs and I'm good to go.  One of these days I might make the switch to the moon cups that are reusable, but for now I'm liking the idea of not having to wash it out or worry that I might forget I was sterilizing it and leave it on the stove too long, killing the cup and the pan it was in.  This happened to a friend of mine once. The company's changed their logo and redesigned the Softcup so it's more comfortable to use, th...