Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Epiphanies Come From the Strangest Places

I've been reading this blog called Mark Reads, specifically his chapter by chapter reviews of one of my all time favorite series, which just happen to be the books that started me reading fantasy in the first place, The Song of the Lioness Quartet by Tamora Pierce.  Her books are amazing coming of age stories and often focus on strong, female characters (right up my alley!).  In the second book of the series, Pierce includes a sexual relationship between the main character and a friend of hers.  It's important to remember that these are young adult fiction, published in the 80s, and she's got a female character having sex with someone without being in a relationship with them.  Completely awesome, right?  I read these books for the first time somewhere between 1992-1994 and have reread them more times than I can count since then.  The blog review I'm reading about book two phrased it like this: "To have this sexual relationship presented so plainly and without shame is fantastic. Major, major props to you, Tamora Pierce."  I've read these books so many times, but I never really put the feeling I got from this particular section in quite this way and now I wish I had.

I realized several years ago that I had created some of the things that I find attractive for myself by what shows I watched during high school (especially the long haired look on guys, thank you Adrian Paul as Duncan MacLeod), but I hadn't thought about how the things I read and watched growing up could have informed my willingness to and love of having my friends make up a significant portion of my sexual partner base.  We are our own creations, and it's important to remember that.  As much as our parents and environments shape us, we shape our selves by what we choose to consume, media-wise.

Self discovery is an interesting and ongoing process.  So is self creation.

Rape and the GOP

I just posted this on Facebook and thought I'd share it here, too.  "I have no indignation left.  No surprise.  It's all been drained from me as the blows keep coming.  There is no violation of another person's body that is ok!  If there is no consent, then it is rape.  And I'm not talking about rape play or other consensual non-consent kinks.  Those are a completely different animal.  I'm talking about date rape, stranger rape, she's-my-wife-and-therefore-owes-me-sex-when-I-want-it rape.  I'm talking about removing someone's sense of self so you can have power over them, rape.  None of these are ever ok.

The so called Christian leaders who espouse these vile positions are performing a different kind of rape: the rape of our rights.  They are violating every single person in this country, be they female, male, genderqueer, trans, or cis.  They are violating our individual choices and they are ignoring our boundaries.  It is time for all of us to stand up and tell them NO!  If they believe that it is only rape if the victim shouts, then this is me shouting, because I am tired of being their victim.  Are you?"

It's in response to this infographic.  I might be out of surprise, but I don't seem to be out of anger.

I am human.  I am female.  I am an American.  It is my right to determine my own life.  It is my right to choose when or if I have children.  IF I am raped, and I get pregnant from it, it is my right to choose to end that pregnancy.  As an American, it is my right as guaranteed by the First Amendment to not have a state religion forced on me, and make no mistake, that is what these GOP politicians are trying to do, some of them more openly than others.

I truly do not understand how any woman can vote for the GOP as it stands today and look herself in the mirror.  I just don't.  A vote for Romney is a vote for misogyny and homophobia.

ETA: I tagged this "sex" and then realized that I had unconsciously played into the rape culture.  It has no been retagged "rape", as it should be.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

National Coming Out Day

Today is National Coming Out Day.  I support all of those folks who have come out and all of those folks who haven't, for whatever reason.  Coming out as bi, gay, poly, trans, or anything else isn't easy.  Our society doesn't make it easy.  Being different is opening the door to being vilified and abused.  But we can change all that and that's why there's a National Coming Out Day.  It's easier to be different if you know you're not the only one.  Ironic, isn't it?

I try to be open and honest about who I am, but I still let that fear of being bullied and misunderstood control me.  Every year for the last 8 or more I've watched from the sidelines of Coming Out Day.  I've watched, but I haven't participated.  I've rationalized it because my close friends and family already know all my secrets, so why would I need to come out to anyone else?  But if I don't, how can I really think of myself as being truly open and honest about who I am?  I hate hypocrisy and this treads the line way too close for my own comfort.  So, this year, I'm not letting it pass me by.

I'm bi, poly, cis and I love to talk about sex.

For those of you who feel safe enough to come out, know that today (and most other days) you're not alone!

Oh, and if anyone has any questions about being bisexual or poly, feel free to ask!