Monday, August 29, 2011

Warning to Guys: Menstural Talk Ahead

This has been working for me.  In February I decided to try something new for my period, Softcups!  It's a disposable cup that you use for 12ish hours, depending on your flow, instead of a tampon or pad.  I gotta tell you that I love them.

You've got to be fairly comfortable with your body to use these and they're not going to work for everyone, but they work wonderfully for me!  I don't have to worry about my tampon failing me all of a sudden or deal with pads at night when I'm sleeping.  Just swap out the Softcup every 12 hrs and I'm good to go.  One of these days I might make the switch to the moon cups that are reusable, but for now I'm liking the idea of not having to wash it out or worry that I might forget I was sterilizing it and leave it on the stove too long, killing the cup and the pan it was in.  This happened to a friend of mine once.

The company's changed their logo and redesigned the Softcup so it's more comfortable to use, though I haven't tried the new design yet I've had very few problems with the old one, so I'm sure this will only be even better.  For the first time since I started getting my period, it doesn't feel like so much of a burden.  Some months I get some gnarly cramps, which are no kind of fun, but I don't have to dread dealing with tampons or wearing something that always feels more like a diaper than anything else.  You're supposed to be able to swim and have sex while using the Softcup with no problems, but I haven't tried either of those out yet.  When I do, I'll let you all know how it goes.

Until then, ladies, I still highly recommend giving these a try.  The really nice thing about them is that the company will send you a sample pack pretty cheap so you don't have to commit to a box just to see if they work! 

Where is the line?

I often find myself wondering if I've crossed the line with some people.  I spend so much of my time pushing my own boundaries when it comes to sex that I sometimes fear that I've gone too far with my friends.

Add to this my personal belief that sex can be just another expression of friendship and it just becomes even more confusing.  I like pushing boundaries and making people think about their positions on things and maybe reevaluate them, but I don't want to actually offend people.  I just think that our society could benefit from a more open expression of sexuality and I do my best to live that ideal.  I also have never been very good at not saying what I'm thinking.  I'm better than I was as a child, for sure, but not saying things doesn't make sense to me.

I think I'm going to have to come back to this one after thinking things through some more...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Experiencing your sexuality

I just read an interesting article on Good Vibrations' blog about women actually experiencing their sexuality and making it a part of their daily lives and I agree with it wholeheartedly.  I also have to admit that I fail in doing so a lot more than I really want people to know.  I let society get to me more than I want to admit to myself, let alone everyone else.  I admire all these women who never seemed afraid to be out and proud as very sexual women like Mae West or Bettie Page, but I can't figure out how to be more like them.

I've spent a lot of time doing the "fake it till you make it" thing and most days I succeed in being who I want to be, at least as far as my sexuality goes.  For me, sexuality is a very important part daily life, intellectually at least.  The next step comes in connecting the intellectual to everything else.

I guess what it comes down to is that I still feel that there a lot of things about my own sexuality that I need to figure out and certain things about how society looks at sexuality that I need to get over.  Baby steps are probably not a bad idea.  Now I just need to figure out the first one...

Monday, August 22, 2011

Expert's Guide to Advanced Anal Sex review

Once again, Tristan Taormino has knocked it out of the park.  Expert's Guide to Advanced Anal Sex is a great combination of information and titillating action.  As usual for her work, Taormino starts off with a lot of great information, covering the basic information needed to make anal sex fun and safe, including enemas, lube and the different positions that can be used.

There are 4 couples featured in this instructional DVD.  They're all amazing together!  The first couple are Kylie Ireland and James Deen and they start off with a great interview.  Kylie has some great advice for women who are new to anal and James talks about the importance of communication and reminds us all that when we have sex we're there, working to have fun.

This amazing scene starts with lots of foreplay and warm up, which is great to see and very hot to boot!  They get Kylie lubed up, start off with fingers then graduate to a good sized toy before...well, you'll see.  ;-)  The communication between the two of them is great, as is the chemistry.  Watching them was completely mesmerizing and they seemed to be going at it hot and heavy enough to set off car alarms outside!

Adrianna Nicole and Danny Wylde rock each others worlds next.  Their interview is a lot of fun.  Adrianna talks about how anal is better for her for orgasms than vaginal sex.  She also says that you shouldn't let yourself be pushed into anal, either by someone else or by yourself.  Danny likes to be on the receiving end of some anal play and loves to participate because of the taboo nature of the act and because it adds variety.

I loved seeing them put bondage tape to create a dildo harness.  It works in a pinch for a lot of things.  The two of them use a number of different toys, including an anal pump which was a new one on me.  The tables got turned a bit and Danny got on the receiving end of one of the toys. Hot!  So are the variety of positions they go through.  Between that and the chemistry between them you have an amazingly hot scene that can be watched over and over!

Bobbi Star and Mr. Marcus have a very interesting interview before their scene.  She says it's the “Most intense orifice to get fucked in!”  Mr. Marcus talks about having a hard time when starting out in porn with anal because he was inexperienced and the women weren’t ready for it.  For Bobbi, anal isn’t something she does a lot in her personal life, because she doesn’t like having to prep that far in advance for her sexual encounters.  Where as he likes it both professionally and personally because it does take a little more thought, with the variety of lubes and positions that can be played with.

I love the fact that her shoes match the butt plug she starts off with.  This scene seems to have had most of the prep work done off camera, which is a little disappointing because I like watching to foreplay as well as the main act.  Not that there isn't foreplay, but not as much as in some of the other scenes.  The two of them are smoking hot together.  Watching them mesmerized me to the point that I had a hard time writing anything down, my eyes were so glued to the screen.  It also took me about 10 minutes to realize that Bobbi has pubic hair, which is something I usually notice pretty quickly since it's kinda rare in the porn industry and something I really like seeing on actors.  One of the best things about their scene is that it goes to show that with enough warm up and prep work, and enough lube, you aren't limited in the size of your partner when it comes to anal play.

I love the interview with Nina Hartley and Christian!  The two of them are so very personable and really comfortable in their own skins, which is awesome to see.  Christian has my favorite quote of the whole DVD: “She’d be great for a sex infomercial".

There is phenomenal communication and chemistry between the two of them.  They’re great to watch together.  Nina is completely unafraid to ask for what she wants and tell Christian to do exactly what will please her the most, making her a great role model for how women should be during sex.  I love that he’s not afraid to admit how much he enjoys being on the receiving end of anal play.  The fun just keeps coming: both of them with toys in while fucking each other is absolutely amazing to watch!

It's great to watch a woman who is comfortable enough to use a strap-on on a guy and a guy comfortable enough to be on the receiving end!  Anyone interested in pegging could learn a lot from watching the two of them.  The icing on this sexy cake is the after glow talk.  It's really easy to imagine them starting up again after a short break.  So many more things that they could do together and to each other...

The special features on the DVD are all great and there's a lot of them.  My favorite would have to be the section on choosing a harness for a strap-on.  A lot of info on the different styles available as well as a demonstration of how to get into them and how to get the dildo all hooked up.  There's also info on solo prostate play for men and more info on anal cleaning.

Even thought the title has "Advanced" in it, this has great info for the raw beginner in anal intercourse and I recommend it for anyone who has ever been interested in exploring their ass or the ass of their partner.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Birth control

I've recently realized how much of a burden taking birth control pills really are.  I can't sleep in as late as I want, because I have to make sure that I take my pill in the right window then it's not as effective, which means courting pregnancy.  Pregnancy is something I really don't want to court.  I had one pregnancy scare when in high school and that's enough for me, thanks!  More than enough, actually.  I really could have done without that experience, but I also learned a number of things about myself from it, so I guess it wasn't all bad.

With the passage of the recent requirements that will make insurance companies have to cover all, or almost all, birth control methods for women with no copay.  The changes should go into effect next year.  I'm contemplating changing to an IUD.  I've got reservations about this, stemming from stories I've heard from various friends.  One friend was born holding her mother's IUD.  Another friend said that her male partner could feel the IUD with his penis.

The side effects of using an IUD are also kinda scary.  Perforated uterus, it can slip out, infections.

I've thought about getting a tubaligation.  I don't know if I'm ready to give up my fertility just yet.  I've never wanted to have kids, but being sterilized is so very final.  It's a step I'm just not ready to make at this point in my life.
 It's a hard decision and I'll be doing more research before I make any decision, along with talking to those closest to me to get their thoughts, since any decision I make regarding my birth control choices effects them as well.  I'm also interested in anything you all have to say on the matter.  Birth control is a huge topic that has a huge impact on all our lives.

ETA: One of the reasons I'd thought about getting away from hormonal birth control is that it would mean I could stop worrying about the interaction of the estrogens in my meds with estrogen in other things, like soy products or flax seed.  Comments on other forums have reminded of the many problems with IUDs.  *sigh*  It's not a decision I'm going to be making too soon...