Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Conservatives vs Planned Parenthood

Here's something that's all over our politics today: Planned Parenthood is evil.  It encourages teens to have sex and makes it impossible for them to be good, God-fearing people.  This shit just plain pisses me off.  Planned Parenthood isn't evil, it isn't encouraging kids to have sex.  Planned Parenthood has one main mission, encompassed by the name of the organization itself: PLANNED Parenthood.

This is an organization dedicated to making sure every child is wanted.  This is an organization that wants to make sure that people who are sexually active, at whatever age, have access to the sexual health care they need.  Sometimes this means they administer abortions to people who have come to the decision that it is right for them.  Planned Parenthood tries to be there for people long before things get to that point.  They don't want to do abortions.  They want every pregnancy to be planned, for every child to have parents who love them and are ready for them.  They want to make sure every person is making their own decisions when it comes to reproductive and sexual health.  They want kids to be comfortable in their own bodies, so they can grow into confident, healthy adults that can ask for the things they need in relationships, both emotional and sexual.

This isn't the Nazi party in 1930s Germany.  This isn't the Communist regime in Russia.  This is a group of people who work long hours to educate everyone on how the human body works.  This is a group of people who won't let you walk out the door without a bag full of condoms, because they want you to have them so that YOU can make the choice about the sex you're having.  This is a group of people that loves what they do and they are constantly being ridiculed for trying to help this country and this world become a better place.

This is the article that fueled today's rant: Republican plan for Planned Parenthood and it got my goat but good.  The conservative jackasses that say that the thing making their teenage daughters and sons go off and have sex is Planned Parenthood have so obviously forgotten everything it means to be 16 and horny.  I'm so grateful that mom hadn't forgotten what that was like.  I'm forever thankful that she knew that my brain wasn't always working that my hormones would almost certainly get the better of me.  She took me to my doctor and got me put on birth control.  Shortly thereafter, she gave me the responsibility for getting myself to Planned Parenthood so that I could understand that my sexuality was my own.  That is one lesson I never forgot.  It was hammered home when I had a pregnancy scare while still pretty young.  I wasn't ready for the birth control pill, so I went back on Depo-Provera.  If my mom hadn't been the type to remember what it's like to be a teenager, who knows if I would have actually ended up pregnant at way too young an age.

These people who keep trying to push their narrow beliefs into the place that science and common sense should hold just make me sick.  They have forgotten what it's like to be a teen.  They have forgotten that their beliefs aren't everyone's beliefs.  And they've forgotten that in trying to impose their religion on everyone else in this country, they are violating one of it's most basic precepts.  All of this just sickens me.  Add to it the number of them who say they love life ant that every life should be allowed to exist and are oh, so anti-abortion, and yet they are pro-death penalty, pro-war and are willing to say that when a doctor who performs abortions is killed that he obviously deserved it.

I don't have any answers to the problems presented by these people.  I wish I did.  At the end of the day, I'm left weary and sickened by their hypocrisy.  I'm also open to suggestions on how to make things better than they are right now.  I've been a patient of Planned Parenthood since I was 16 or 17.  My file at the local clinic was getting very thick before they switched to electronic records.  I can't stand the thought of loosing this amazing resource.  They truly just want to help, so why don't we let them?

Monday, August 29, 2011

Warning to Guys: Menstural Talk Ahead

This has been working for me.  In February I decided to try something new for my period, Softcups!  It's a disposable cup that you use for 12ish hours, depending on your flow, instead of a tampon or pad.  I gotta tell you that I love them.

You've got to be fairly comfortable with your body to use these and they're not going to work for everyone, but they work wonderfully for me!  I don't have to worry about my tampon failing me all of a sudden or deal with pads at night when I'm sleeping.  Just swap out the Softcup every 12 hrs and I'm good to go.  One of these days I might make the switch to the moon cups that are reusable, but for now I'm liking the idea of not having to wash it out or worry that I might forget I was sterilizing it and leave it on the stove too long, killing the cup and the pan it was in.  This happened to a friend of mine once.

The company's changed their logo and redesigned the Softcup so it's more comfortable to use, though I haven't tried the new design yet I've had very few problems with the old one, so I'm sure this will only be even better.  For the first time since I started getting my period, it doesn't feel like so much of a burden.  Some months I get some gnarly cramps, which are no kind of fun, but I don't have to dread dealing with tampons or wearing something that always feels more like a diaper than anything else.  You're supposed to be able to swim and have sex while using the Softcup with no problems, but I haven't tried either of those out yet.  When I do, I'll let you all know how it goes.

Until then, ladies, I still highly recommend giving these a try.  The really nice thing about them is that the company will send you a sample pack pretty cheap so you don't have to commit to a box just to see if they work! 

Where is the line?

I often find myself wondering if I've crossed the line with some people.  I spend so much of my time pushing my own boundaries when it comes to sex that I sometimes fear that I've gone too far with my friends.

Add to this my personal belief that sex can be just another expression of friendship and it just becomes even more confusing.  I like pushing boundaries and making people think about their positions on things and maybe reevaluate them, but I don't want to actually offend people.  I just think that our society could benefit from a more open expression of sexuality and I do my best to live that ideal.  I also have never been very good at not saying what I'm thinking.  I'm better than I was as a child, for sure, but not saying things doesn't make sense to me.

I think I'm going to have to come back to this one after thinking things through some more...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Experiencing your sexuality

I just read an interesting article on Good Vibrations' blog about women actually experiencing their sexuality and making it a part of their daily lives and I agree with it wholeheartedly.  I also have to admit that I fail in doing so a lot more than I really want people to know.  I let society get to me more than I want to admit to myself, let alone everyone else.  I admire all these women who never seemed afraid to be out and proud as very sexual women like Mae West or Bettie Page, but I can't figure out how to be more like them.

I've spent a lot of time doing the "fake it till you make it" thing and most days I succeed in being who I want to be, at least as far as my sexuality goes.  For me, sexuality is a very important part daily life, intellectually at least.  The next step comes in connecting the intellectual to everything else.

I guess what it comes down to is that I still feel that there a lot of things about my own sexuality that I need to figure out and certain things about how society looks at sexuality that I need to get over.  Baby steps are probably not a bad idea.  Now I just need to figure out the first one...

Monday, August 22, 2011

Expert's Guide to Advanced Anal Sex review

Once again, Tristan Taormino has knocked it out of the park.  Expert's Guide to Advanced Anal Sex is a great combination of information and titillating action.  As usual for her work, Taormino starts off with a lot of great information, covering the basic information needed to make anal sex fun and safe, including enemas, lube and the different positions that can be used.

There are 4 couples featured in this instructional DVD.  They're all amazing together!  The first couple are Kylie Ireland and James Deen and they start off with a great interview.  Kylie has some great advice for women who are new to anal and James talks about the importance of communication and reminds us all that when we have sex we're there, working to have fun.

This amazing scene starts with lots of foreplay and warm up, which is great to see and very hot to boot!  They get Kylie lubed up, start off with fingers then graduate to a good sized toy before...well, you'll see.  ;-)  The communication between the two of them is great, as is the chemistry.  Watching them was completely mesmerizing and they seemed to be going at it hot and heavy enough to set off car alarms outside!

Adrianna Nicole and Danny Wylde rock each others worlds next.  Their interview is a lot of fun.  Adrianna talks about how anal is better for her for orgasms than vaginal sex.  She also says that you shouldn't let yourself be pushed into anal, either by someone else or by yourself.  Danny likes to be on the receiving end of some anal play and loves to participate because of the taboo nature of the act and because it adds variety.

I loved seeing them put bondage tape to create a dildo harness.  It works in a pinch for a lot of things.  The two of them use a number of different toys, including an anal pump which was a new one on me.  The tables got turned a bit and Danny got on the receiving end of one of the toys. Hot!  So are the variety of positions they go through.  Between that and the chemistry between them you have an amazingly hot scene that can be watched over and over!

Bobbi Star and Mr. Marcus have a very interesting interview before their scene.  She says it's the “Most intense orifice to get fucked in!”  Mr. Marcus talks about having a hard time when starting out in porn with anal because he was inexperienced and the women weren’t ready for it.  For Bobbi, anal isn’t something she does a lot in her personal life, because she doesn’t like having to prep that far in advance for her sexual encounters.  Where as he likes it both professionally and personally because it does take a little more thought, with the variety of lubes and positions that can be played with.

I love the fact that her shoes match the butt plug she starts off with.  This scene seems to have had most of the prep work done off camera, which is a little disappointing because I like watching to foreplay as well as the main act.  Not that there isn't foreplay, but not as much as in some of the other scenes.  The two of them are smoking hot together.  Watching them mesmerized me to the point that I had a hard time writing anything down, my eyes were so glued to the screen.  It also took me about 10 minutes to realize that Bobbi has pubic hair, which is something I usually notice pretty quickly since it's kinda rare in the porn industry and something I really like seeing on actors.  One of the best things about their scene is that it goes to show that with enough warm up and prep work, and enough lube, you aren't limited in the size of your partner when it comes to anal play.

I love the interview with Nina Hartley and Christian!  The two of them are so very personable and really comfortable in their own skins, which is awesome to see.  Christian has my favorite quote of the whole DVD: “She’d be great for a sex infomercial".

There is phenomenal communication and chemistry between the two of them.  They’re great to watch together.  Nina is completely unafraid to ask for what she wants and tell Christian to do exactly what will please her the most, making her a great role model for how women should be during sex.  I love that he’s not afraid to admit how much he enjoys being on the receiving end of anal play.  The fun just keeps coming: both of them with toys in while fucking each other is absolutely amazing to watch!

It's great to watch a woman who is comfortable enough to use a strap-on on a guy and a guy comfortable enough to be on the receiving end!  Anyone interested in pegging could learn a lot from watching the two of them.  The icing on this sexy cake is the after glow talk.  It's really easy to imagine them starting up again after a short break.  So many more things that they could do together and to each other...

The special features on the DVD are all great and there's a lot of them.  My favorite would have to be the section on choosing a harness for a strap-on.  A lot of info on the different styles available as well as a demonstration of how to get into them and how to get the dildo all hooked up.  There's also info on solo prostate play for men and more info on anal cleaning.

Even thought the title has "Advanced" in it, this has great info for the raw beginner in anal intercourse and I recommend it for anyone who has ever been interested in exploring their ass or the ass of their partner.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Birth control

I've recently realized how much of a burden taking birth control pills really are.  I can't sleep in as late as I want, because I have to make sure that I take my pill in the right window then it's not as effective, which means courting pregnancy.  Pregnancy is something I really don't want to court.  I had one pregnancy scare when in high school and that's enough for me, thanks!  More than enough, actually.  I really could have done without that experience, but I also learned a number of things about myself from it, so I guess it wasn't all bad.

With the passage of the recent requirements that will make insurance companies have to cover all, or almost all, birth control methods for women with no copay.  The changes should go into effect next year.  I'm contemplating changing to an IUD.  I've got reservations about this, stemming from stories I've heard from various friends.  One friend was born holding her mother's IUD.  Another friend said that her male partner could feel the IUD with his penis.

The side effects of using an IUD are also kinda scary.  Perforated uterus, it can slip out, infections.

I've thought about getting a tubaligation.  I don't know if I'm ready to give up my fertility just yet.  I've never wanted to have kids, but being sterilized is so very final.  It's a step I'm just not ready to make at this point in my life.
 It's a hard decision and I'll be doing more research before I make any decision, along with talking to those closest to me to get their thoughts, since any decision I make regarding my birth control choices effects them as well.  I'm also interested in anything you all have to say on the matter.  Birth control is a huge topic that has a huge impact on all our lives.

ETA: One of the reasons I'd thought about getting away from hormonal birth control is that it would mean I could stop worrying about the interaction of the estrogens in my meds with estrogen in other things, like soy products or flax seed.  Comments on other forums have reminded of the many problems with IUDs.  *sigh*  It's not a decision I'm going to be making too soon...

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Sacred Sexuality

Spirituality and sexuality are very closely linked for me.  The idea of sacred sexuality isn't one that sits well in our modern world, especially in the very WASPy USA in which I live.  I've been trying to navigate my way to something lately and I think it might be time to really work on embracing all elements of sacred sexuality.  The question is how to do that.  Are there books our there that I can read?  I know there are some bloggers walking a similar path.  How do I fit ancient ideals into a modern life?

I don't suppose any of you out there have any answers?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Expert's Guide

Just started watching the Expert's Guide to Anal Sex and once again amazed by the amount and quality of information Tristan puts into her DVDs.  I've only watched the intro so far, but man oh, man am I impressed already.  I hope to finish watching it this week and get an actual review up for you, but I can already recommend this with a clear conscience!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Anticipation!

I'm totally stoked!  I'm going to be getting a review copy of Tristan Taormino's Expert's Guide to Advanced Anal Sex DVD!  I've loved every one of the DVDs of hers that I've been able to review so far and am happy to be doing so again.  Ms. Taormino posted some thoughts on the upcoming DVD on her blog and the fact that fisting is a no-no in mainstream porn.  Porn, Fisting, and Censorship  This link is SFW.  She also posted a follow up with some very hot, but very NSFW pics from one of the scenes in the film: Sneak peak

It's too bad she couldn't show any fisting in the film because it's supposed to be as much educational as titillating and I know I would like to learn more about it.  She does talk about it in her book "The Complete Guide to Anal Sex for Women", if I remember correctly.  Here's the book.  It's been a while since I read it, though.  I do recommend it regardless for anyone thinking about trying anal sex because it's got lots of good information on the subject, for men to even though the title specifies women.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

*Sigh* The best laid plans...

OK, so me actually getting on top of things and transferring everything over hasn't happened yet.  How's about we change that, hmm?  I'm going to go and grab my posts from the old blog and move them here, so you all just bare with me, k?

ETA: Alright, everything has been moved over that needed it!  Thankfully I hadn't been too prolific a blogger before now so I didn't have too many posts to move.  I've back dated everything so they're in the same order and moved such comments as were appropriate.  Welcome to my crazy mind!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

In transition

Welcome to the new home of Passionate Blush!  The name has changed, the host has changed, but I'm still me!!!

I'm going to be copying over the posts from the old site, but it'll take me a little while, so please bear with me.  Hopefully moving things over here will mean I post a bit more often, too!

Monday, May 2, 2011

Review: Rough Sex 3

This is another amazing set of fantasies directed by Tristan Taormino and this time, they’ve been dreamed up entirely  by Adrianna Nicole!  Hearing her talk about the difference between just performing and having these be her own fantasies written large across the screen is pretty cool, too.  The intensity that she brings to every scene she does makes it easy to assume that she isn’t at all nervous about the outcome of any given scene.
The bonus scenes are a happy surprise!  The interview between Manuel and Adrianna is very interesting and has lots of good info about anal and the scene itself has step by step tips for newbies to anal, which is a nice addition.  This is like the most intense instructional video ever!  The scene with James is all about female orgasm and the different types of orgasm a woman can have.  I’m a sucker for a guy who loves to make sure his partner is happy.  They’re so much more interesting than the guys who are only into getting themselves off.  James is as into making sure Adrianna gets off as she is in getting him off.  This makes for some hot, hot play!  The scene with Mark is narrated by Midori and is all about bondage.  Since it’s Midori calling the shots, it’s full of good tips and tricks to make your bedroom bondage turn out right.  She’s got great tips on the things that go along with the bondage, like making sure your partner is into being slapped before you start doing it, cause nothing can kill the good mood faster than causing pain when you meant to titillate.  They managed a lot of different positions and a lot of different configurations without needing a lot of intense equipment, which is nice to see.  Not many people can keep a dungeon under their house…
As for the different scenes themselves, they are one hot moment after another!
The first scene a fantasy between Adrianna and Jiz Lee and is filled with an intensity that could have lit up LA.  It’s the first time they worked together, but if they hadn’t said so I would never have known.  They look like two lovers who’ve been together for a long time.  Jiz packs a wonderful toy that looks very natural, both in the color of it and how it was wielded.  I wish I had Jiz’s cock confidence while strapping.  The way the two of them use toys proves that sex toys aren’t just for solo play.  Going from the beautifully white, over blown sumptuous couch and Jizz, Adrianna takes on a john who wants things he can’t get at home.  This scene is like watching all the scenes from Pretty Woman they couldn’t film!  He’s a very hot Top.  And she’s really flexible.  This is a good combination.  I would love to have that shower to have sex in! And I’ve got to say that the word for Ramon, our happy john, is STAMINA!  He obviously can’t get enough of Adrianna and she feels the same about him, which makes the shower scene even hotter!!  One of the things I really like about Tristan’s Rough Sex series is that she makes sure that everyone is into what the scene demands and Ramon is right in line with that philosophy.
In the interview before their scene, Jada has some things to say about what should and shouldn’t be said to a woman during a scene.  I’m not big on humiliation play, so that’s nice to hear.  I have to admit that I’ve never understood boot worship before watching this scene, but that was HOT!  Jada is fierce and gorgeous.  She loves dominating people and does it in the sexiest way possible.  Adrianna is a very enthusiastic sub and the chemistry between them is electrifying.  I did find myself wondering, how does she not kill herself in those boots?  Gorgeous harness with another dildo skin tone match dials the scene up to yet another level.  This is another person that someone interested in strapping can learn a lot from.  She wields that thing like she was born with a cock and Adrianna takes it in every position and begs for more!  I really liked hearing Adrianna talk about the scene afterwards and seeing the outtake of Jada getting a taste of the Hitachi.  You can get an idea that porn stars have done everything and it’s all boring to them now, but that was a look at something really different.
The locker room scene is the kind of fantasy that I’ve had more than once, the gang bang scenario.  Adrianna took that fantasy and made it absolutely hot as hell and you can tell the girl loves her work!  It wasn’t quite a straight gang bang so much as a continuous bout of one partner after another, with a tag team thrown in for some extra fun!  The positions they went through everything they did made it one long fuckathon!  And going from a one on one to the shower tag team…yummy!  And then comes Evan!  He and Adrianna have amazing chemistry.  And he’s a man of stamina!  It makes him a really good match for Adrianna, since that girl seems to be the energizer bunny of sex.  I thought I loved sex, but she makes me look like I can barely stand to have sex at all.  If I were her and had just gotten nailed by those 4 guys like that, I’d have had to stay on set for a while too.  The scene outtakes are great!
This is another fantasy setup that’s not dissimilar to ones I’ve had, so seeing it on film with someone as enthusiastic as Adrianna in the starring role leaves me breathless with anticipation.  The voice over to set the scene is a nice touch.  Adds to the whole noire feeling of it all, though the mention of golden showers doesn’t work for me as much.  This is the kind of scene that I find both intensely attractive and repellant.  The degradation is a bit hard for me to watch, but the action is so goddamn hot!  I like the idea of getting fucked by a stranger, but I’m not so sure about the reality.  I’m never a fan of the spitting, though the being used is something I find compelling…  The scene after the stranger is gone is intense, just Adrianna and Prince Yahshua.  It’s the kind of thing that I’d expect after opening your relationship up, however briefly, to another person.  Adrianna’s post scene interview is really interesting.  Taking a fantasy and making it a reality is a hard thing to do, whether it’s a porn shoot or a role playing game scenario (yes, I’m a gamer geek and proud of it! ;-) ).  Things get so built up in our minds as to how they should be that when the time comes to act them out, how can anyone be anything other than anxious?  It’s also really good to hear her talk about condoms, if she were to pick up a random stranger…
This is yet another fantastic series of fantasies, one right after another that keep coming like Adrianna until you go into sensuality overload.  The imagery and the chemistry are so intense that it took me more than one sitting to get through everything.  There is just so much beauty in the raunchiness of it.  There are a number of moments that made me think and many that made me so hot I thought my skin would burst.  I’m looking at the photo gallery as I finish this review and my mouth keeps going dry as the images sear themselves in my brain.  Jada, Jiz, Adrianna, Evan, Ramon.  Each of them so hot on their own and then when they get mixed up with one another…, well let’s just say it’s a good thing my hubby will be home soon! ;-)

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Review: Expert Guide to Female Orgasm

I thought you all would love this review I’ve just completed for this great new DVD from Vivid-Ed, Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Female Orgasm, which you can find here: : http://vbly.us/2fcj
When it comes to hands-on sex education, Tristan Taormino is one of the first names that spring to mind, and with good reason.  The Expert’s Guide to Female Orgasm is another wonderful example of her talents.  Tristan spends the first part of the movie giving great information about that most elusive creature, the female orgasm.  She talks about female physiology and anatomy, the different types of orgasms, what they might feel like, how women experience their orgasms and the fact that no two experiences are going to be the same.  She also talks about the connection that must be present between mind and body for women to achieve orgasm.  The information packed into the start of the disc is amazing!  She uses great visuals when talking about oral sex techniques and the cut scenes that illustrate the visuals are immensely helpful, and very hot!
One thing about Tristan Taormino’s work that is fast becoming a favorite element for me is letting her female stars pick their partners and in this film that included a genderqueer star who is biologically female, which added another perspective on female orgasm.  It was really interesting hearing someone who is physically female, but who doesn’t identify along the gender binary we have in our society, talk about how orgasm feels to them and the types of orgasm Jiz Lee experiences.  I also love encountering firsts when I’m watching something; a few of those that I encountered when watching this: porn staring someone who is genderqueer and female ejaculation.
There is so much to love in all 5 of the scenes on the disc.  The wonderful advice and descriptions regarding female orgasm from both the women and their partners.  Female porn stars with pubic hair.  Safer sex practices in several of the scenes.  The variety of toys used and the ways they were used are great fodder for my own future explorations.  Possibly the best part of all was that all the couples had amazing chemistry and the way they interacted with one another was absolutely beautiful, even when they were fucking.
One of my favorite quotes in the Guide was from Adriana Nicole: “We don’t get to have sex as much as we should get to.”  This simple sentence clicked with me because it summed up why I want to be a sex educator, to get people to have more sex and to have better sex when they do have it.  When it comes to orgasms, men have us ladies beat (pun intended) because they are encouraged, by society if nothing else, to masturbate and learn what works for their bodies.  We women are encouraged to never touch ourselves and to disdain such unfeminine practices.  This film is a great tool in the arsenal of any woman in trying to reverse those teachings and learn to love themselves more than they ever have.  What the different types of orgasms are, and how to get there are almost the most important lesson to take away from watching this, but the thing that hopefully sinks in for most women watching this is that their greatest sexual pleasure starts by knowing themselves and their bodies.  Knowing what works and what doesn’t, and remembering to take the time to find out, because then they can take that precious knowledge to their partners and share what they have learned.  By doing this simple sounding thing, they will open new doors for their sexual lives and hopefully take that new found confidence with them in their approach to the rest of their lives, and have fun while doing it!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Frustrations with our culture today

Bigotry of any kind gets my goat.  I don’t get it.  Even when I’ve caught myself doing it.  What is wrong with people living their own goddamn lives?!?  I mean really?
I’m not just talking about the hub-bub about gay marriage.  I’m talking about the kids who get picked on for being shy or the goth kid who loves black.  Not being Christian, being too Christian.  Being Pagan, Muslim, Jewish.  You see where I’m going?  Who the fuck decided different was bad?  Especially in this country.  A country founded on ideals of freedom, whether you bow down to God or Allah.  Actually I know it was more like whether you went to Catholic mass or Protestant Sunday service.  But the point is that the founding fathers wanted us to be free from the strictures of the Old Country(tm).
I am sick and fucking tired of being judged because I’m a woman who likes sex and wants to talk about it.  I’m tired of feeling like I can’t be balls to the wall passionate about my vocation in public for fear of offending someone for talking about a natural and beautiful part of life.  I hate feeling like liking sex stigmatizes me.  In the early days of religion, there where temple prostitutes, even in the Hebrew faith.  Sex was one way of communing with your god, then.  It was a blessing and seen as a holy experience.  Many religions view sex as being a transcendent part of life and one of the ways we can know that Deity loves us, because why else would we enjoy it so much.
Why is it so wrong to try and bring this point of view to the modern world?  Why does sexual empowerment threaten the status quo so much?  I think these are things I will never understand…